


Good At The Job

by DegrassiFanatic



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s07e10 The Bittersweet Science, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27905410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DegrassiFanatic/pseuds/DegrassiFanatic
Summary: “I felt bad for him.” Hotch admits quietly to Reid, “For the unsub, for Jimmy. I know he’s a killer but I understand him. If Jack got sick or if he died, I would snap too and that makes me afraid. That the person I identify with, is the bad guy.“I mean, what does that make me?”
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Comments: 11
Kudos: 125





	Good At The Job

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god, not another hotchreid fic
> 
> but yeah this one is dedicated to Spark_Stark who gave me the prompt and lawrancel who simply asked for another hotchreid fic and i could not help but deliver

The moment Hotch hears the monitor flatline, the noise echoing through the silent room, he decides to make his way out of the hospital room. The two parents need some time to grieve privately and Hotch is not a monster, he won’t rip Jimmy away from his dead son, not until he has to. 

Pushing open the door as quietly as he possibly can, Hotch lets himself out of the room. He draws in a deep breath as he presses his body against the nearest empty space on the wall. His palms are flat against the cold wall, the sensation anchoring him to reality. He tilts his head up as he attempts to will away the tears. 

From the corner of his, he sees a familiar mop of brown hair come into view and soon he feels a hand rest on his upper arm, the warmth seeping through his dress shirt and spreading across his skin. 

“Hotch,” Reid says softly, “You okay?”

Using the arm free of Reid’s grasp, Hotch wipes away the remaining tears on his face using the end of his sleeve. 

“I’m fine.” Hotch answers back quickly, his voice coming out all watery, “Let’s just— let’s go back to the station.”

He is well aware that he’s not doing an excellent job of convincing Reid but he hopes that, for once in his life, Reid will simply drop the matter, that he won’t keep probing. 

It’s quite clear that today will not be the exception as Hotch’s hopes are crushed when he feels Reid’s digits curling into his bicep. As the younger man shuffles closer to lean into Hotch’s side, he uses his free hand to twine their fingers together. 

“The team can wrap up the case without us.” he murmurs as he tries to make fleeting eye contact with Hotch, “You want to talk about it?”

Without hesitation, Hotch shakes his head vehemently. 

No, he does not want to talk about it. He’d rather be back at the police station going through mind-numbing procedures that would help him forget the look of pure anguish on Ryan’s parents’ faces when he uttered his final goodbye. 

“Aaron…” Reid admonishes gently, “Please?”

For a minute, he stays silent and Reid resigns himself to having lost this battle with Hotch. He can feel him making microscopic movements to inch away and that makes a surge of panic rush through Hotch for an inexplicable reason. 

Moving his hand to grasp at Reid’s waist, Hotch leans his mouth down to his ear. He wants to be quiet because he knows that right beside them, inside the hospital room, is a pair of parents wondering how to keep going on after they’ve lost their son. 

“I saw a kid die,” he starts off, his breath most likely tickling the shell of Reid’s ear from the way the man was squirming in his hold, “And I don’t know, my mind must have gotten away from me, because I kept imagining if it was Jack. Then, I started imagining if Jack had gotten sick and I had to say goodbye, if he had gotten into an accident and I had to bury him, if he had been killed by Foyet—”

He cuts himself off as he heaves in a ragged breath. He knows that by now his fingers must be leaving bruises in Reid’s skin from the way he’s tightened his grip. 

“I felt bad for him.” Hotch admits quietly to Reid, “For the unsub, for Jimmy. I know he’s a killer but I understand him. If Jack got sick or if he died, I would snap too and that makes me afraid. That the person I identify with, is the bad guy.

“I mean, what does that make me?”

“Good at the job.” Reid whispers back.

It’s a callback to something he said years ago to him, back when Reid had been younger and Hotch had smiled more. It loosens up the knot in his chest, if only enough to let him take a free breath. 

“Thanks Reid.” he says, and he’s not sure what he’s thanking him for, but it feels right to say the words. 

A second or two passes when Hotch realizes they are still wrapped up around one another. Despondently, he thinks it’s time he pulls away from Reid’s body. They’ve been intertwined in a way that is inappropriate for boss and subordinate, for friends, even. 

As he goes to take a step back, Reid places a hand on top of Hotch’s own that was resting on his waist, effectively keeping him close. 

“By the way,” Reid says into his ear, “I don’t think you’ll ever turn into an unsub.”

“What do you mean?”

“A lot of our unsubs,” Reid begins as he moves to look Hotch in the eye, “Their triggers are when their loved ones die a traumatic death. But, Hotch, you? Your wife was murdered by a man that had made your life living hell, and instead of choosing violence, against yourself or others, you chose to go back to work and put people like Foyet away. You chose to be the good way when it could have been so easy to fall off the deep end, you chose to be good even though it wasn't easy.

"And you showed your son that you can move past tragedy without forgetting about it.”

All Hotch can do is stare at Reid and take in all of the awe and pride swirling around in his eyes. 

“I was rambling, wasn’t I?” he pipes up when Hotch cannot produce a response for him in time.

“I like it.” Hotch mumbles as he brings his thumb up to trace the corner of Reid’s mouth. 

“When it doesn’t interfere with the job?” he teases, even though a blush appears across his own face. 

“Yeah.” 

* * *

The next day, after the team has filed into the jet and they are well on their way back home to Quantico, Rossi decides to stride over to where Hotch was sitting, his paperwork scattered around him on the table in front of him. 

“So,” Rossi says, elongating the vowel as he leans his arm on the top of the empty seat in front of Hotch, “Is the doomsday bike ride happening?”

“Yes, it is. Tomorrow morning, 9:00.” he informs, “But, uh, I don't know.”

“I'm pretty sure Haley wouldn't want you to avoid moving on.”

Though it’s been two years, her name still cracks against his heart like a whip whenever he hears it. He wonders when the blow will lessen its impact. 

“I'm not avoiding moving on.” he murmurs as he scribbles something down, “I'm just not sure.”

It’s the truth. He just isn’t sure if it’s worth the hassle.

Beth is nice and sweet and she is someone Hotch could fall in love with. But, she’s so innocent and Hotch doesn’t want to do to her what he did to Haley. He doesn’t want Beth to bear the burden of a job she did not sign up for. It’s not fair to her, just like it wasn’t fair to Haley. 

He sees no point in attempting a relationship that is doomed to end catastrophically. 

“Not sure about what? Going on a bike ride?” Rossi asks, slightly exasperated, “Aaron, I know you think it's too soon, but you're no good to anyone when you're miserable.”

“I'm not miserable.”

Hotch has a good life. He has a wonderful son and a kind sister. He has a team that has his back no matter what. What more could he ask for? What more could he ask for without feeling guilty? Without feeling selfish?

“Ehh…” Rossi says with a little hand gesture, “Maybe slightly uptight.”

A small chuckle escapes Hotch.

“All right,” he concedes as he sets his pen down, “I'll give you slightly uptight.”

After a moment, the grin on Rossi’s face dials down, replaced by the sight of a small, sad smile. 

“If there's one thing I learned from Carolyn's death, it's that life is short.” he says, “And you deserve to be happy.”

“I know.” Hotch murmurs, half lying and half telling the truth.

Leaning closer, Rossi gives him a pat on the shoulder before he straightens up and makes his way back to his own seat, where Prentiss and Morgan are waiting for him so they can begin their game of poker.

As he picks up his pen once more, Hotch is about to get back to his paperwork when the pen is snatched up from behind him. In its place is a warm mug of coffee, instead. Looking up, he finds Reid beaming down at him as he holds Hotch’s favourite pen hostage in one hand, and his own mug of coffee in the other. 

“Did you poison it with your sugar?” Hotch jokes as he brings his nose down to the rim of the mug. 

“Haha,” Reid says sarcastically as he takes his seat in front of Hotch, “That’s coming from Mr. I-take-my-coffee-as-dark-as-my-soul.”

“Well, if coffee is supposed to represent its drinker, I think yours is fitting as well.” Hotch says, surprising himself with his words. 

“Because I’m so pale?”

“Because you’re sweet.” Hotch corrects. 

He isn’t quite sure why he said the words but whatever the reason is good enough for him as he watches the flush spread across Reid’s face like it did last night. Soon after, Reid ducks his head down as he distracts himself by taking a sip of his overly sugary coffee. 

Maybe, Hotch had gotten it all wrong. Maybe, he should’ve been searching for a partner in his own circles. Someone who understood him and understood everything he had been through. Someone who he didn’t have to go through the painful pleasantries of first dates with because they already knew him. Someone who would not be scared away by the job because they worked the job too. 

Someone like Reid, he thinks to himself. 

Sighing, Hotch pushes aside the thought. Reid would never want to be with a man like him. Not when he had so many other options available to him. Sure, he’s a little late on social cues but he makes up for it with kindness, passion, intellect, with his whole personality. Anyone would be lucky to have him.

In the pocket of his trousers, he feels his cell phone vibrate with a new text message notification. Whipping it out, he spots Beth’s contact name on the screen. 

“Jess?” Reid asks.

“No, it’s, uh, it’s Beth.” at Reid’s questioning look, Hotch explains, “She’s the woman I met in the park while I was training. She’s asking if I would like to join her for some dinner later in the day after we finish our bike ride tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Reid says deflated, “That’s nice.”

As he grows dismayed, a seed of hope sprouts up inside of Hotch. He wonders if… 

“Unfortunately for her, I am busy.” he announces as he sets his cell phone face down on the table.

“With what?” Reid asks, curiously.

“Taking you out to dinner.” and Hotch isn’t sure where this streak of bravery came from but he is grateful for it, “That is if you’ll say yes.”

The grin that Reid greets him with reaches the corners of his eyes and leaves Hotch feeling breathless.

“That depends.” he says as he raises his mug up to his mouth before lightly blowing over the top.

“On?”

“If you mean it in the way I think you do.” he explains. 

“Spencer,” Hotch murmurs lowly to make sure the rest of the team cannot eavesdrop, “I would like to take you out on a date.”

“Okay.” he mumbles into the rim of his mug.

“Okay?” Hotch asks, wanting to double check, a smile already stretching across his face.

“Yep.” Reid nods shyly. 

Without another word, Hotch settles back into his chair to get some work done. He’d rather not have to do it tomorrow, seeing as he’s going to be very busy. 

As he slides sheets of papers around, he spots Reid getting up from his seat, only to slot up beside him on the empty chair next to him. Reid brings his hand down to Hotch’s, and he can feel a pen nudging his palm. After taking hold of it, Hotch tries to get back to work only to find his right hand clasped together with Reid’s left, settling on top of his thigh. 

It’s a good thing Hotch is left handed. 

**Author's Note:**

> leave a kudo or a comment if you liked it, and visit me on tumbler degrassi-fanatic


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